My Cutie Pie.

Viewed some of my old photos on facebook and saw the photos of my cutie pie - Jane. I took so many photos of her when she was still with me. She was absolutely cute until you would never stand her cuteness. She even looked like a teddy bear doll when she was still a puppy. About two or three years ago, my dad bought this little adorable puppy from his friend. I used to think dad bought her just to get my sister be happier, since our previous dog, a Schnauzer was lost and she felt extremely upset by that time. So times passed and about one month ago only I discovered the truth. Some ugly truths behind the scene. Such simple thing could be that dirty, what a life. 

Anyway, that wasn't the main point. Dad doesn't allow us to keep her anymore after mom gone. My grandma kept her and fed her these months. Me and my sister were missing her like mad, so we asked grandma to bring her to our house when they came. And guess what, she doesn't even bother to play with us anymore. I guess she got hurt, for months we didn't go to fetch her home or find her. She used to stick with me like super good friend, I really love her so much. Still remember I used to bring her to the garden and she would follow after me all the way I go......but now, it's all gone. She doesn't even lick me much like last time. This is so sad.....

Why everyone I love so much has to leave me just because of these? I know my dad loves all of us, but what he did seriously get me more sadness instead of happiness. He only knows to give us the enjoyment upon material desires, but he would never give something spiritually. Dying inside and wishes to get a little bit courage from school, can't school reopens faster? This is the only place for me to rest I guess, since it's the only place I can get rid of him and play as much as I want. 

I love my mom, my grandma, grandpa, uncles aunties cousins and my Jane but they're just leaving me, under his control. Can't he feel the broken heart within me.

当一个人固执

生活中我们会遇到很多种人，有开朗的悲观的慷慨的吝啬的小气的大方的，当然也会有固执的也就是我今天想跟大家分享的一种个性。

在这世界固执的人多的是，随时可能读这篇文章的你我都是一个固执的人。固执呢，是当我们在对自己充满百分百的信心时表现出来的性格。当你对自己毫无疑惑时，你就不会把别人的劝告听进耳里并一意跟着自己的想法去做。又或者当你非常生气时就只为了闹别扭让别人注意你或让自己心里高兴时表现出来的--叫爱面子。或许还有很多的因素会导致一个人变得固执，但我今天就只想到这两个。

当我们爱面子时表现出固执的性格以为自己会因为顾了自己的面子而感到好过，但其实不是。我们会发现当别人死命批评自己固执的性格时会觉得自己很冤枉他们不理解自己之类的而感到心里更加不好过。但自尊心太强的我们就是会继续固执下去以为别人会看到自己的厉害，到最后最不开心的还是自己。

假如大家都是我刚才提及的固执类别那就还好，因为都是自己害自己，还有得救。但是这世界上还有另外一种害人害己的固执。。。恐怖的固执。

我所谓恐怖的固执就是你自己固执自己开心不开心自己来受就算了，但还要害到别人难过。通常这种人都是属于领导层的，因为他们固执地控制他人。就比如说你的爸爸和你超级麻吉的爸爸之间有私人恩怨时他就会因为讨厌别人出于自己的私心阻止你和你的超级麻吉有任何来往。对，这就是最糟糕的事，叫恨屋及乌，非常恐怖。这恐怖的固执就喜欢剥夺别人的快乐。

所以，假如你发现你是一个固执的人，千万不要做第二种！尤其是大人们啊，做人不要这么固执这么霸道了你们的小孩会每天过在缺乏自由又难过的阴霾下的。。。

（这篇文章出于本人对自己爸爸的不满而诞生的）

Start of Something New.

Yes, I have abandoned my old blog & now creating a new blog. I used to hate people who create another new blog again and again when they actually already have their own blog. But this time, I create this just because I want to throw away everything from my past and start something new. 2012 is ending & 2013 is on the path now, I can't live in the past anymore, memories are only be allowed to keep in the heart and not revealing it to myself almost everyday, that's such a suffer.

And what I've planned for next year? Firstly, be cheerful. Among everything, happiness would be the most important essence in our life, without happiness we don't even really need to live a life. Life is a process to find the way to be cheerful under any situation and any problems. Things can be solved more easily with a cheerful heart which thinks everything is good. You can't feel the magic of life when we don't have gratitude. :"Whoever has gratitude will be given more, and he or she will have an abundance. Whoever does not have gratitude, even what he or she has will be taken from him or her." These sentences are found from a book named Magic when I was reading books in the times book store, and it did inspire me. Actually it was a translation from a Bible's verse, even the Koran has few sentences related to the same topic. I believe in this, and why don't you?

So secondly, keep friends. Yeah keep friends, stop exceeding the limit. I meant not to have any relationships more than friendship. This year I've hurt people and I've been regretful and that's enough. As a student, especially me a student who wants to focus on my studies, I guess friends are all enough for me. I know no wonder how many relationships I've started it doesn't last long and dad will never allow. And I hate to be controlled also, so that's all.

Thirdly, stop gossiping! I'm such a worse human being, since I really gossip a lot. I guess I started this habit from last year, when all the friends around me began to gossip and talk bad about the others like so abundantly. I used to be a mediator when I was in the primary school, no argues no misunderstandings. Just because we don't gossip, we just tell them straight away when they did something really offended me or something very unpleasant. And after telling them, everything goes rightly on their way. That's why there were only happiness and peacefulness in my life by that time. But sometimes I can control myself, but I can't control the others' mouths. This is the hardest part to cease the habit of gossiping. Because the other friends will gossip in front of me and tempt me to do it also....... So yea, I have to stop them too? Good idea but I'm not that brave kind of person. Oh yeah, I should just quite when they gossip? Okay, last decision would be telling them not to do so and if they don't listen then I will quit. I don't want to get into so many conflicts like last year anymore.

Forth, save money. People who knows me well would know that I'm a person who wishes to travel around the world after I graduated. I even wish that I can study at overseas. And of course, going overseas need currency. So I really have to save my own money. I used to save money since I was kinda small but because of some issues they were all gone...... so I have to start from zero. So this is one of the reason why I said start of something new. Money is very important, it can either build happy family or destroy it completely.

Fifth, my studies. Actually I should've already mentioned about it earlier but I forgot. It's in the fifth category but it doesn't mean that it isn't that important. It's super important. Just as I mentioned that I have to save money for further education or travelling, it already proved that studies is very important to me also. I can say that studying is one of my most outstanding talent. I don't really have more talents, so I guess studying is actually the only talent which I can be proud of myself. But, studies doesn't only limited within the knowledge we gain from school. I have to study/learn other skills also. All I want is to learn a new talent or skill by this year. Maybe cooking, baking, designing, dancing or singing? Whatever but I prefer dancing and singing. I love them to the max.

Sixth, growing taller and losing weight. Maybe you think that I'm thin enough, but seriously I have to tell you thirty-eight kilograms are too much for my height. So I'll either grow taller or losing weight to get a balance. For my height, actually my standard weight would be thirty-one, so I'm seven kilograms heavier. Growing taller is harder for me, but I would like to try by doing more exercises after school. Planning to go for gym after school, and badminton also. Exercises can both losing our weight or get us to grow taller!

The seventh I would like to improve is something about my family, and it's the last target of the year. This target is very hard to explain cause it's too deep and too......spiritually? I don't know, but I just have to improve something, which related to my family. Playing my role nicely? Finish all my houseworks without complaining? Stop thinking about something I can't get and wait for the right time? Agh this is something I've to figure out by myself throughout the year.

So everybody, hope that I can share every little things or opinions of my life to you and wish that we'll have a good time together. ^^