Depression.

Just as the title I've set for this article, it's about something recently happened to me, like about today. I've actually set a goal of finishing ten books in two weeks just to sit for my igcse course on the 17th or 18th of February, which is held on the first day of school after the Chinese New Year hols.

At first, before teacher has told me that I can start earlier with the first batch of igcse students in our school, which is the Senior One, I have already set a mind that I'm sitting for the course on April which will be the second batch. But what happened was that teacher told me I can actually catch up the last ten books in two weeks time and start with the first batch. I was extremely excited after getting to know about that news and worked really hard and put on ultra mega much of efforts on accomplishing the books. Guess what, I finished four books in four days.

That was such a tough and exhausted time for me to finish the books in such short time, but I stayed still and continued. I thought nothing can stop me, but reality seemed cruel. Today after school, principal asked me to meet her in the office. She asked me about the progress of my work at first and I thought that was something good. But what following after that was a hard knock on my skull.

I wasn't able to start the course even if I can finish the books before the dateline, since financial problem is the major problem. What she said was to help my father, the school, and myself by delaying the time to start the course. She held a big smile on her face while explaining to me how many books should I finish before the next batch, and as if it was really good and happy.

I know, money is the major problem. Even though I understand and willing to accept these, but I couldn't control the mood at all. My tears were about to flow when teacher was explaining to me, but I hold til after the conversation ended and got rid of the stupid tears in the toilet. I thought that was already enough for me to release the pain within my heart so I went down the building and sat on the staircases for about ten minutes to calm down.

After I gone out from the building, I went into the guard house and sit there, wanted to be with myself. But friends and sister came to irritate me, I showed them some black faces and ignored them. However, sister sat beside me and asked why did I look that sad. I didn't want to tell, but I told honestly and this time my tears couldn't be hold anymore, it flowed presumptuously like I've never cried for years. That was so embarrassing but the tears just couldn't stop and the pains were meant to be released......